jetgreguar:

tommy imma let u in on a secret

im lit as fuck rn

saint-jerome:

hitmontop, hitmonbottom, or hitmonvers?

spiritdick:

I want to know why

sixpenceee:

CREEPY TINY TALES, by reddit user IPostAtMidnight

Unfurl

She usually enjoyed unfurling a fresh sheet over her bed, swishing it out like they do in those detergent commercials. Tonight, however, as the sheet settled down onto the empty mattress, it outlined the contours of a body.

Then it sat up.

ylim3

Little Emily vanished last year. Now they’re pouring new sidewalks in my neighborhood, and I’ve found her name in the wet cement, written in remembrance. But it was written in reverse. And from below.

Cold as Hell

After centuries spent crawling through an endless desert, the Devil appeared and offered the man a glass of cold water. Though suspicious, he savored every drop, and afterwards he looked up gratefully.

“Why this kindness?” he asked the Devil through cracked, scabbed-over lips.

The Devil smiled and patted him on the head.

“Because you had forgotten kindness existed.”

Then he was alone again, and the moisture remaining in his mouth turned to sand.

(Link to story, there are more tiny tales here) (Compilation of Creepy Short Stories)(Compilation of Creepy Short Stories Part 2)

aaliyah1979-2001:

valiantparadox:

My roommate and I have had far too much coffee and I think our neighbors hate us

WHO DID THIS

listless-tubist:

odielikethedog:

j4ya:

elinious:

effington:

shortformblog:

Seriously, though this is kind of a big deal. Know that big problem we have? You know, the one involving a crapload of used plastic hanging around in landfills with nowhere to biodegrade for a couple million years? Well, Jonathan Russell might’ve solved that problem. See, Russell and his fellow Yale students went to Ecuador, where they found a new kind of fungus they’re calling Pestalotiopsis microspora. Big deal, you’re thinking. Anyone can find fungus anywhere! Well, something his fellow students found out after the fact is that this fungus can live on a diet of polyurethane alone — and even crazier, it doesn’t even need air to do so! In other words, we could potentially put it at the bottom of a landfill and cover it with plastic, and it would do the rest of the work. This might be game-changing if it works as advertised. (photo via Flickr user dbutt; EDIT: Updated with link to research abstract) source

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Wow

THIS IS AMAZINGGGG

I love nature

THE EARTH IS SO AMAZING IT KNOWS THAT WE’RE FUCKING IT UP AND EVEN THEN INSTEAD OF GIVING US AN APOCALYPSE IT GOES AND GIVES US A SOLUTION TO HELP US FIX WHAT WE FUCKED UP BLESS

Big shout out to nature for saving our asses for the billionth time

refreshinglyclassic:

burningoleander:

midnight-emotive:

'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'

image

'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'

Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

fartgallery:

we all need a hand to hold sometimes

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